After a frustrating loss Friday night to the Minnesota Timberwolves, power forward Blake Griffin gathered teammates together to watch a video on his Apple ipad. The video, according to team sources, was a Youtube clip showing himself jumping over a brand new Kia Optima at last years “NBA Dunk Contest.”

Sources familiar with the situation have reported that the high-flying Griffin has become increasingly frustrated by the lack of alley oops being tossed his way. Griffin is averaging nearly 14 less alley oops per game than he was at the same time last year. Over the past 4 games he has earned only 2,000 frequent flyer miles, far below his career averages. If trends continue it is expected that Griffin will have to give up his medallion status in the Delta Sky Club.

In an interview with the local press after Friday’s loss Griffin told reporters, “you know… the problem with Lob City is there ain’t no lobs”

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David Kirchhoff, chief executive officer of Weight Watchers International Inc. admitted to the use of a Barkley stunt double in recent commercials after photos were released yesterday by Paparazzi. The photos, which are now going viral over the internet, show the real Charles Barkley golfing at his favorite Miami Beach Golf Course.

The CEO of Weight Watchers told reporters that the stunt double was never planned as a permanent replacement, rather his use was suggested after Barkley failed to lose more than 5 pounds after months of religious dieting. Barkley’s stunt double (New Jersey native Tom Johnson), told reporters that he first got the idea to apply for the position after seeing a job posting on the Weight Watcher’s forum pages. “Friends and family have always told me that I’d make a great Charles Barkley, now I’m finally living up to their expectations.”

The Magic have made another trade to try and make Dwight happy. In the deal they send Brandon Bass to Boston, and receive Glenn Davis in return. Charles Barkley “weighed” in on the trade, “That’s turble! The last thing an NBA team needs is an undersized, overweight forward.”

Sources close to Davis have said the lockout/Thanksgiving took a toll on “Big Baby,” who reportedly showed up to camp with an extra 45 lbs. Howard commented on the trade, “If the Magic can get Bynum to team up with Davis they’ll have the least cut team in the league.” Did the Magic think they could bring Howard down to earth by getting Davis to fatten him up? Anything’s possible for the Orlando management.

Let’s hope the Magic make a play for Baron Davis and Carmello Anthony to create the all Fat Team. But who would play the 2 guard?

Their latest win demonstrates that for Tebow, anything is possible. The Broncos came back from a 10 point deficit with 2:08 left in the game and defeated the Chicago Bears.

Steve Wray, a declared atheist, had this to say after the game “for the sixth straight week I was left completely speechless…Science cannot explain what Tim is doing on the field. The man has made me a believer.”

Betty, a 94 year old atheist, told reporters after discovering that the Broncos had won yet again,”I can throw a football from my wheelchair farther than Mr. Tebow ever could. He’s not winning because of talent, and it sure ain’t luck. There must be other forces at work.”

Here’s one that nobody seems to be talking about. The NBA’s new collective bargaining agreement is going to change the rules on short length. According to the new rules, players will not be allowed to wear shorts that are less than 6 inches above the knee.

Speaking on the new rule, NBA commissioner David Stern told reporters that the new rule should help to clean up the league’s image. “In the past few years we’ve had guns in locker rooms, players attacking fans,  and star players choking in the fourth quarter of games.” Stern continues, “this new rule is something the league has been pushing for and in my opinion you really can’t go too short.”

Just before the Lakers struck an agreement with the Hornets and Houston Rockets on a trade that would have placed Paul in the same backcourt as Laker’s star Kobe Bryant, David Stern informed the Hornets that the deal would not be made.  Stern originally told the league that the trade had been stopped due to “basketball reasons” but it was later revealed to be a miscommunication between the two teams.

The original proposal sent from the Hornets to the Lakers included Jack Nicholson being sent to New Orleans in exchange for Chris Paul. Said Laker’s GM Mitch Kupchak, “when i saw the original proposal I thought that Jack was thrown in as a joke. The Lakers have stated time and time again that we will not trade Jack Nicholson or Kobe Bryant, period.” The Hornets in fact were not joking and decided to call off the trade once they realized that Jack would not be included.

At 1:00 EST Friday (12/16/11) the NBA commissioner David Stern is expected to announce which teams will be allowed to make the playoffs. Tune in to NBA TV and see if your favorite NBA team has been selected.

Update: When asked which team would win the NBA finals this coming year Stern told reporters that, “he had not yet decided which team it would be but that he expected the announcement to come sometime before the season kicks off on Christmas day”

Details from the NBA’s new “Collective Bargaining Agreement” continue to emerge. One of the major changes in the new CBA is that players will now be allowed to wear the jersey of the player they most want to be like.  Details are sparse but players will reportedly only be allowed to enact this option once per season and will not be allowed to wear the jersey of a player on the opposing team in an effort to eliminate possible confusion.

In an interview with the “Orlando Press” Magic center, Dwight Howard told reporters that the new rule would, “finally allow me to be Superman.”

Speaking on the new rule Lakers guard Derek Fisher stated, “We may have lost essentially all of the system issues to the owners but this…this is a huge win for the players.”